We are a family of 6 — One white dude, one Filipino mom, a 12-year-old African American daughter, a 10-year-old white-Filipino surprise (our biological child), one 8-year-old African American daughter and one 6-year-old African American son. We also have one white and one black schnauzer. We are quite a mixed lot.
Our Adoption Stories
We have a strong belief that it was God’s plan for our family to come together the way it did. We started out wanting to get pregnant and have biological children. But as we had infertility issues we decided that extensive fertility treatments were not something we wanted to do.
So we started the adoption process with lots of questions and very excited. We knew immediately that being a bi-racial couple we were open to any race. And we also knew the very real reality that more than likely we would adopt an African American child since we were doing child since we were doing a domestic adoption. Black children are generally more available for adoption than any other race.
This was something as a future father I had to think hard about. Would I be ready to be a father a black child? Was my family ready for it? What would it mean? That was in the 90s when we didn’t yet have a black president and race was still a very taboo subject, especially among white people.
Ultimately, of course, we decided to adopt and after about 6 months of paperwork and we were approved…. 5 days later we had a 2-month-old little girl as our new daughter. She hadn’t yet been adopted and was with a foster family. Its like she had just been waiting for her. 12 years later we are still blessed.
A few months after adopting our daughter my wife walked into the bathroom and said: “I am pregnant.” I think I mumbled something like “that’s nice” and kept on shaving. My wife said it again with a big smile on her face. Then it sunk in – YOU’RE PREGNANT? 9 months later we had our surprise son.
At that stage, we weren’t sure if we were done or not and we made a big move to another state. At that stage, we felt the call to adopt again. We had found an agency that had birth mothers wanting to put their babies up for adoption immediately. We ended up going through the process with two birth mothers who before the 48 hour time was up for them to change their mind – they had decided to keep their babies. That was tough. But in the end, we know it was all part of God’s plan. We decided to stop the process as we were pretty wiped out from the process. A couple months later the adoption agency called us and said – how would you like to bring home a new daughter in the next couple days? The 48 hours have passed and we don’t have a waiting family to adopt the baby girl. We prayed about it, said yes and 3 days later our second daughter and third child came home with us. We have been greatly blessed.
Our fourth child, Gage, literally came out of “hell on earth” from Haiti. We felt the call to adopt one more time and this time we had a heart for Haiti. When we started the process there was a stable government in Haiti. Then a coup happened, then things slowed way down. Thank the Lord our son came home before the big earthquake. It took 18 months and a LOT of work to get him home. When he came home, he had multiple parasites in him, TB, and more. Several years later now he is strong, healthy, and blossoming.
For more than 100 years, Gladney has been a pioneer and a leading voice for improving the lives of children, adoptive families and women planning adoption. We recognize that adoption is a lifelong journey. Our customized programs and services…
As the largest adoption agency in the U.S., Bethany provides domestic and intercountry adoption services, unplanned pregnancy counseling, and more. Visit Bethany.org to learn more.
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Adoption.com is the authority for all things adoption. Check out our resources about pregnancy, domestic & international adoption, parenting, adoptees, foster parenting and more.
Transracial Adoption: a family’s experience and advice to those considering adopting transracially
Useful related links
- Thinking About Adoption
- HowStuffWorks "10 Questions to Ask Yourself If You’re Considering Adoption"
Considering adoption? Take a look at our 10 questions to ask if you are considering adoption at Discovery Health.
- Before Deciding on an Interracial Adoption – Transracial Adoptions and Family Life
Is an interracial adoption for you and your family? What are some things to consider before making your final decision on an interracial adoption?